i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
I licked your asshole in confidence.
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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