Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
tell me about the fingering
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
Randomize
