He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
Randomize
