the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
Randomize
