Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
Randomize
