He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
Who did Billy Mays play for?
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
Randomize
