omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
Randomize
