three words: i give head
three words: not that well
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
Randomize
