Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
as a side note pls kill me
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
Randomize
