I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
Randomize
