Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
Randomize
