maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
Randomize
