New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
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