How'd it feel making her break her religion?
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize
