I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
Randomize
