So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
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