M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize
