just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
Randomize
