ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
jump out the window naked night went bad
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
