We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
Randomize
