Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
Randomize
