I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
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