fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
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