i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
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