i just wanna soil my oats bro
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Randomize
