i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
