Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
