At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
Randomize
