he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
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