nothing says happy birthday like half a tampon wrapped in someone else's hair on your shoulder.
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
Randomize
