And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
Randomize
