Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
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