i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
Randomize
