where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
Randomize
