i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
Randomize
