"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
