either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
What a dumb baby whore.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
Randomize
