I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
Randomize
