i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
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