if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
My boob is missing a layer of skin
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
Randomize
