it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
