Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
Randomize
