Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
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