what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
Randomize
