Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
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