My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
Randomize
