"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
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