Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
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