Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
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