At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
Randomize
