I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
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