a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
I'm passing your future prison.
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
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