oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
Randomize
