you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
Randomize
