You really coming over, don't trick.
is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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