HIV tests are more positive than that guy
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
areolas are like halos for boobs.
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
Randomize
